Engaged Undergrads

With graduation around the corner, it's time to make some big decisions; and for some college students this includes tying the knot.
A few University of Portland undergraduates share their stories, experiences and perspectives of being engaged and/or married while in college.

While your wedding day is the happiest day of your life, the days, weeks and even months leading up to the big day can be quite stressful. Fortunately, there are many different techniques available that will aid in relaxation and ridding yourself of stress.

Often times, in stressful situations, people resort to coping mechanisms that may temporarily reduce stress but are more damaging in the long run such as smoking, drinking too much, overeating or under-eating, withdrawing from family and friends, procrastinating, and taking stress out on others. Rather than resorting to these techniques, implementing a stress management plan is much more beneficial.

In dealing with a stressful situation, successful techniques include changing the situation and changing your reaction.

1. When planning a wedding, it is important to avoid unnecessary stress; this includes avoiding people who stress you out, and taking control of your environment. Remember that this is your wedding, so do not allow other people to force their plans and ideas onto you and your wedding plans. Learn to say “no.” However, do not be afraid to ask for help, if you feel like you have too much on your plate, step back and reorganize your schedule.

2. Alter the situation. This means express your feelings rather than bottle them up; however, it is imperative to remember the difference between expressing yourself and communicating your concerns in an open and respectful way versus lashing out on someone. When you ask someone to change, you must also be wiling to compromise and make changes in your behavior as well. And most importantly, manage your time better, planning a wedding is like having a second job, so make sure you allow yourself enough time to get things done as well as time to relax away from anything wedding related.

3. Adapt to the stressor. This includes reframing the problems at hand, looking at the big picture and making the appropriate adjustments and focusing on the positive. When you are in the middle of everything, it could seem like everything is crashing down, take a second to step back and re-evaluate the situation, adjust the standards and stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection, as there are bound to be bumps and road blocks along the way.

4. Accept the things you cannot change. Often times, things are beyond your control so look for the upside and learn to forgive. When you are planning your wedding, it is highly likely that there is going to some miscommunication so learn to forgive quickly, which will make other more willing to help correct the mistake and get you back on schedule with your plans.

5. Most importantly, make time for fun and relaxation from everything wedding related. Set aside relaxation time and do something you enjoy everyday, whether it be taking a walk or run. Calling a good friend, taking a long bath, listening to music, watching a movie, curling up with a book, or spending time with your significant other. A wedding is a celebration of the bond that will last a lifetime. Make sure to value the significance of what you are celebrating and to not lose sight of it in the craziness of planning your special day.

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Happily Ever After!
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Want to hear more? Read more exclusive interviews from engaged and married UP students!!!


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College is stressful and wedding planning is stressful, but somehow people can make it work. Whether your wedding mirrors Will and Kate's or is as simple as in a courthouse, love is love! You may now kiss...whatever. (You get the idea).